Of Light, Shadow and Love: Volume 1

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Chapter 1

Exhaustion

Head Nurse Meagen walked the halls of the UFL Hospital, and called her creation good.  It seemed like just yesterday the Hospital was a mere tent in the middle of a fierce fanboy war. Now, it was a large, fully staffed and modern facility stocked with every medical advancement known to man, and several that were unknown outside of Megatokyo.

She passed Dr. Lightsider as she walked, and greeted him in passing. The good doctor walked by without responding. It was as if he hadn’t even heard her. Meagen looked back at his retreating form and worried a bit. Lightsider had been more rumpled than usual since the battle, and his capture at the Church. He seemed distracted, drawn and gaunt. The Head Nurse made a mental note to order Lightsider in for a medical evaluation as she turned down the hallway where her office was. She also made a mental note to send a memo to the nurses to lay off teasing Lightsider for a while.

Lightsider was the only male doctor in a hospital full of mostly Rei-clone nurses. The nurses found the meek, unassuming, shy doctor the perfect target for a long-suppressed and hitherto unknown penchant for practical jokes. Stealing his glasses in front of Nurse Mizuno seemed to be the favorite occupation. For some reason, Lightsider’s rare kawaii[1]-sensitive condition was greatly amplified in her presence, and the glasses were the only thing that protected him. A successful “nab” of Lightsider’s glasses usually resulted in the good doctor being rendered instantly catatonic. The nurses were even keeping score. You got bonus points if you made him fall on or into something embarrassing, like a lemon cream pie, the nurses’ restroom or Nurse Mizuno. (You got double bonus points for that last.) It was great for morale, and Lightsider didn’t seem to mind, normally. Washuu-Rei was the current leader, followed closely by Rei Nabiki.

Meagen was third.

Lightsider headed for his own office, dodging mallets, CPAE darts and various other projectiles by automatic reflex. Most of them weren’t aimed specifically at him, as other fanboys in the hospital needed the nurses’ special form of “care”. He did notice a few lemon cream pies lying around, though. He was careful to avoid those. He reached his office unscathed, took off his glasses, and lay down on the cot that was there. Only a couple minutes . . . .

Twenty minutes later, the hospital echoed with screams. This wasn’t particularly unusual. Between duct tape bandage treatment, the removal of said treatments, and Washuu-Rei’s occasional “experiment” with SGD serum, it happened all the time. However, these screams were different. They were the screams of a tortured soul, rather than of physical pain.

Lightsider sat up just as Tohru burst through the door. Lightsider reflexively shut his eyes, just in time. Luckily his glasses were nearby.

“Did you hear that?” Tohru exclaimed.

“Hear . . . ?”

“The screams! They’ve happened a couple times in the last week! Don’t you hear them?”

“Oh, yeah . . . ,” Lightsider muttered. “Weird.”

“I wonder if the hospital is haunted, or something,” Tohru wondered. Then she left, hurrying on her nursing duties. She didn’t see that Lightsider’s hands were shaking, or that he was sweating. Lightsider went to the nurses’ station and got himself a cup of water. His throat was sore again.

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“Lightsider?”

“Hm?”

It was the third time Tohru had caught him staring out into space. The two had taken an early break and gotten a bite to eat at the UFL cafeteria. So far, Lightsider had only picked at the wedge of pumpkin pie he’d ordered.

He looks so tired, Tohru thought wistfully. She considered going to Nurse Meagen or IntelliAyanami and asking one of them to make Lightsider go home and get some rest. A direct order would be about what it would take, she knew. The recent intrigue surrounding the CoM had caused a lot of unrest, and hospital admissions were high, even among the fangirls. Lightsider took his responsibilities seriously, very seriously. Too seriously, some thought.

“The nurses are starting to become nervous about all the screaming today,” Tohru said. “It’s just not normal, and no one seems to be able to pin down where it’s coming from. Will you help us search for it?”

“Search? Oh, yes, of course.” Lightsider said. He blinked a couple of times, and rubbed his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Tohru asked.

“I . . . uh . . . .” Lightsider hesitated. “I guess I’m pretty drained from all the action lately. I need rest, and I haven’t been getting any.” He rubbed his temples. “I get woken up by the screaming when I try to nap in my office.”

“Me too,” Tohru said.

There was a short, and uncomfortable silence.

“About the other day . . . ,” they said in unison. Tohru laughed. Lightsider blushed.

“C’mon, Lightsider,” said Tohru ruefully. “Let’s go look for that noise.” She grabbed Lightsider’s arm and hauled him away. She decided then to definitely talk with Intelli or Meagen and get Lightsider some much needed rest.

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Lightsider walked alone into a darkened patient room, yet another one of hundreds in the UFL hospital. IntelliAyanami had split the search for the source of the screams into individual staff members, for greater efficiency. The room was empty, and Lightsider chuckled, in spite of himself. The UFL always had at least one bed available, even at times like this.

The doctor caught a glimpse of himself in a full-length mirror that graced the room. I look like Hell warmed over, he thought. Which isn’t too far from the truth, I guess.

Then Lightsider looked past his reflection into the reflection of the room. His eyes widened in surprise and fear, and he spun around.

Lightsider summoned the Light that was his essence, and immediately the room was ablaze with power. “SHADOWDANCER!” he shouted. “I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!” The Light swirled in a vortex of energy, picking up every particle of furniture in the room and whipping it around, searching for the being Lightsider was certain was there.

But she wasn’t. She never had been. Lightsider let his light die out and dropped his hands to his sides. The furniture settled to their original places. The doctor sat down on the bed and put his face in his hands.

It was finally happening. And, after all these centuries, it was almost a relief.

He was finally going mad.

fe

Shadowdancer looked up, noticing the change in light. The sun was rising. The large windows that graced her room were ideal in that she did not need to use electric lighting during the day. She preferred natural light as much as possible.

Quietly, she shed her billowing over-robes, laying them out on the bed. She wore only the nagajuban, her under-kimono. They mimicked her outer robes, but were silkier and much more delicate. She wandered over to the largest window, opened it and stepped out onto the wide ledge. Shadowdancer's long copper hair caught the morning breeze and billowed out like a banner of liquid fire, the newborn sun breathing illusory life into the silky strands. She had no fear of heights, as her wings would save her from being dashed to bits upon the sidewalk far below, should she misstep.

She stood in mute admiration as the Lady Amaterasu - the Sun, as the mortals knew her - rose with regal grace into the heavens, her touch and light bringing about life and the start of a mortal day.

Shadowdancer remembered how she had once stood on a cliff far greater than this. She watched the sun rise above a land that was clean and unspoiled, the forests stretching as far as the eye could see. She remembered her voice lifting in song, in pure wild reverence for the sister of her Master, and in wild abandon she danced and stretched her wings to brush her beloved’s cheek, to touch the smile he wore on his lips . . . .

Shadowdancer turned from the window and stepped down from the ledge. The sun was too bright, she told herself. That was why she was weeping . . . it stung her eyes. Yes, that was it . . . .

Shadow's pet raven Morrigan slept calmly upon her perch, her midnight feathers absorbing the light as surely as a black hole did. Reaching out with her four-digited hands, the dark elf touched the satin perfection of the feathers fondly.

Soft wings, with feathers created of light . . . . So had the Doctor’s wings been . . . glowing dimly even in the realm of Shadow. The dark elf wondered what magic had created them. They seemed a little like hers, divinely given, but different too. He aroused her curiosity, but she doubted she would see him again. With that, she dismissed him from her mind, and sat at her dresser and took up an ebon comb to use upon her mane.

The first few strokes caught a glowing feather from its cage in her hair. Shadowdancer plucked it with trembling fingers from her comb. It was the doctor’s . . . she could smell his scent on the little feather.

Who is he?

Shadowdancer frowned. Such strange preoccupations. She had much to do before she went to work. It would not do to be distracted . . . she needed to remain in Chief Gooley’s favor. Last night had been a close enough call. She needed a bath, and it took time to arrange her hair over her ears and on her head so it would not attract so much attention. Shadowdancer snatched up an empty jar that used to hold mints and dropped the feather into it. Her professional mind said I can use it for genetic patterning . . . .

With that, she stood up and went into the bathroom, forcing her thoughts away from the handsome winged doctor, and his pretty blue-haired nurse.

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Tohru walked silently through one of the basement’s corridors, her trademark gunsen war fans in hand and ready to strike if needed. She peeked inside yet another in a long line of storage rooms, this one full of boxes containing CPAE. Tohru had never believed in ghosts, but since the screaming had started, she had begun to wonder. Tohru continued to another room. She still hadn’t found the source of the screams, and neither had any of the other nurses, apparently.

Having searched her entire sector, Tohru took the chance to sit and rest for a while. She mused as she sat on the floor, with her back against the wall. Her thoughts drifted to Lightsider. He wasn’t feeling well, that anyone could see. He had said he was only tired and lacking rest, but something kept nagging at Tohru that it was more than that. She couldn’t forget his expression of sheer terror when they had gone through the darkness. He had acted like there was no tomorrow. Lightsider had pulled her to him, embracing her like she was the last source of light in a universe of darkness.

She raised a hand and put it over her heart. Why did her heart beat faster every time she thought about Lightsider? Why did she get happier when he smiled, and worried when he was sad? Could it be . . . ? Tohru sighed. How could she tell? She had never been in love before.

Shaking her head, she got up and walked away to meet the others. She climbed the stairs and turned right, in the direction she knew Lightsider had gone. As she walked down the corridor, she started to hear the screams again. And they seemed to be nearby. Gripping her fans, she advanced carefully and reached the door that seemed to hold the source of the screams. They were the screams of a terrified person, someone who was going through hell and its worst torments. The screams of a tortured soul.

Tohru took a deep breath and opened the door in a quick, smooth motion. Her eyes widened in astonishment. It hadn’t been a ghost or a demon, it was . . . Lightsider! He was laying in a hospital bed, convulsing and screaming, his face twisted in agony. Obviously he was going through a horrible nightmare. It had been him all along! With a gesture of her hands her fans disappeared, and Tohru stepped into the room. Her hand stopped just short of his shoulder, though, as she reconsidered.

It pained her to leave him in that state, but she knew she couldn’t do anything except embarrass him. His nightmares were probably the result of his passage through that strange living darkness. With a heavy sigh, she exited the room and carefully closed the door. She would wait and see if his nightmares stopped. After all, time healed everything.

Didn’t it?

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Shadowdancer pinned her hair into place and looked at herself in the mirror. She had managed to wash her robes and had hung them out to dry, but that meant that she had to wear different, non-magical clothing. Oh well. It wasn’t as if she was going to be attacked on the way to work. Except for maybe the perverts. In any case, she was always able to conceal her knifelike koto[2] picks, her wires, and a metal gunsen; a war fan that had been forged in the same fashion as a katana. The blades had been so finely crafted that they looked like silver satin, concealing the fan’s lethal nature and allowing her to keep it in plain sight.

Smoothing her white dress over her thighs and tugging on her black embroidered bolero jacket one last time, she slipped into the ivory colored slingback pumps that were office de rigeur and took a short trip through the Shadows, emerging in a shaded alcove in the now-quiet rave hall. Her heels echoed on the dance floor as she moved across it and out into the sunlight.

The dark elf joined the throng of Megatokyo’s working force, all of them emerging from their homes and entering the daily rat race. Students in varied uniforms and white-collar businessmen raced around her as she stepped with a quick, straight-backed pace. She stopped at a fast food French take out and bought some goat cheese and a prosciutto panini with the intent of eating it while on the go. A bottle of sport drink rounded out her breakfast before she stepped on the train.

She sighed. She needed a new railcard, and a new sketchbook. She also had to deliver a status report to Chief Gooley about the Splice Soldier prototypes. There had to be some way to create a template to shorten processing time . . . .

For some reason, her thoughts drifted back to the little glowing feather on her dresser. Ah, she had forgotten to take it along for DNA mapping. Oh well, she’d be busy enough today, what with the reports and the new splices she wanted to present to the Chief. She leaned against the window and stared out into the cityscape.

She dozed off a minute later.

He had fallen in battle at last.

Of him, she found nothing, not even a single scrap of cloth, nor a twisted and burnt knife blade. The inferno he had summoned to defend her had  consumed him utterly.

Of him, she had nothing but the ring with which they’d pledged their hearts’ mastership. They’d had so little time, she deathless and he mortal, and now it had been further shortened.

She called on her magic and raised a straight pillar of stone from the heart of the earth. It would serve as his gravestone in the middle of the blackened, wasted landscape.

It would be years before anything grew there again.

She grieved, her tears mingling with the snow as the very heavens grieved with her, and she swore to find him again, waiting countless lifetimes if needed be . . . .

A cry made her look up. There was a flutter of wings, and a single feather drifted down to her, glowing pale and beautiful. The bird could not be seen... had it been a bird?

She cupped the feather in her hand, and wept.

The gods had heard her vow. She would find him again . . . someday . . . .

She woke as the train’s auto-announce system told her that they were nearing the final stop. Shadowdancer sat up in alarm. She’d missed her station! Fortunately, it wasn’t too far away - she could walk to the Splice Star Technologies buildings.

She threaded her way through the urban labyrinth and found she needed to take a detour - the fastest way to the SSTI buildings was under repair.

The detour was longer than she thought it would be. Shadowdancer walked further than she had originally planned, and she was upset that she’d be late. She looked up to reorient herself to her surroundings . . . .

She was standing in front of the UFL hospital.

For several minutes she stood frozen, unable to move. Then, like a rabbit startled from its hiding place, she bolted. She darted across the street and dove into the first shadow she found.

She missed seeing a certain brown-haired, bespectacled doctor leave the hospital.

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Quite a busy day, IntelliAyanami mused as she walked the halls of the UFL. First those screams all morning . . . . Then Dr. Lightsider goes off somewhere just as a “Dom vs. Ed” catfight arrives . . . . And come to think of it, I haven’t seen Tohru-chan in a while . . . . Rei grinned slightly as she drew the obvious and, of course, completely wrong conclusions. She knew that had about as much chance happening as a quiet day at the hospital

Ahead of her, someone was walking out of a room. She turned slightly and passed around him . . . only to have him collapse into her arms.

“What the . . . .”

It was Doctor Lightsider, looking very much the worse for wear. She was quite surprised that he still had his glasses on. He hadn’t collapsed from kawaii overload this time. It looked like sheer exhaustion.

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“Out.”

“But . . . “

“OUT!!! And if I see you anywhere near this hospital for a week, you’re fired!!”

IntelliAyanami pointed to the door, and the look appeared on her face. Lightsider dropped his hands to his sides and gave up. When IntelliAyanami gave the look there was no argument, and the next thing she said would have “Mallet” written all over it.

IntelliAyanami maintained her stern demeanor, but inside she worried for the doctor. He’d been like a zombie all day, moving as if he were in some dream, or maybe some nightmare. He attended to his patients as competently as usual, but also mechanically. There were no shy jokes, no words of comfort for the fangirls. “Just the facts, ma’am,” as Joe Friday would say.

Then there were the screams. Tohru had told her about Lightsider's exhaustion, and about walking in on him while he was in the middle of some sort of night terror. After talking it through, the Rei agreed that they should let his screaming run its course, as Lightsider himself seemed to be unaware that he had been making the noise. Still, it was unnerving the patients. Best if he did his screaming somewhere where people weren’t trying to heal.

Lightsider shuffled out, and IntelliAyanami lowered her arm. They really couldn’t afford to be without the doctor with all the action around Megatokyo lately. That, and word seemed to have gotten around that the hospital had gotten a nice, non-grabby and rather cute male doctor. Fangirl admission had risen at least fifty percent.

Meagen’s second-in-command shook her head. The fangirls would have to be disappointed for the next few days. Lightsider was taking a vacation.

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