Of Light, Shadow and Love: Volume 1

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Chapter 3

Jealousy and Freedom

IntelliAyanami narrowed her eyes at the scene displayed before her eyes. She stepped into the room and coughed slightly to call the attention of the young nurse. “Tohru-chan, what in the world do you think you’re doing?”

Tohru simply looked at IntelliAyanami. “I’m healing a wounded fanboy.”

IntelliAyanami sighed. “Yes, Tohru-chan, but you were supposed to duct-tape his arm, not  duct-tape his arm to his body![1]”

Tohru looked down and gasped. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry sir!” She took the duct tape off the scared fanboy and reapplied it, this time in the proper way. “There,” she said, as she smiled to the patient. “All done.”

IntelliAyanami sighed as she looked at Tohru. This had been the fifth time she had spaced out during a patient’s treatment. And all of this because she was worried over him. “Tohru-chan, please follow me to my office.”

Tohru followed IntelliAyanami nervously. Onegai, don’t let her fire me! She entered her office and nervously sat on the chair IntelliAyanami pointed out to her.

“Tohru-chan . . . .”

Tohru cut her off. “Onegai, IntelliAyanami-san, don’t fire me! I didn’t do that on purpose! I . . . .”

“Tohru-chan, stop.” IntelliAyanami commanded. Then she smiled. “Fire you? Why would I do that? I merely asked you to come here to suggest you to take a day off tomorrow and go see Dr. Lightsider.” Tohru looked at IntelliAyanami and blushed.

“I can see you’re very worried over him. So I think it better for everyone if you just go assure yourself he is all right.” She smiled a bit. “Your shift ends in 2 hours. Use the kitchen, bake some cookies for him. Then go see him tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll love some homemade food.”

Tohru blushed. “Thank you!” She got up, and, after bowing, left IntelliAyanami’s office.

IntelliAyanami grinned. The things love does to people.

fe

Tohru happily picked up the ingredients needed to make her special cookies. She had so many years of experience that she didn’t even need a balance to weigh the ingredients. As she mixed the butter and sugar, her mind drifted back to the old days at the orphanage, when she had learned to cook for the first time. At first it was to make some extra spending money, but it had soon grown into a passion.

When she finished the mixture, she divided it in three portions. To one she added chocolate, to the second cinnamon, and to the third vanilla. She rolled them out and cut them into several shapes, placing them in several trays. Then, she put each tray into the oven.

When they were ready, she took the trays out of the oven, let the cookies cool, and then carefully arranged the cookies inside the box. When all the cookies were inside the box and the box closed, she wrapped the box in a pretty furoshiki[2]. Satisfied, she picked up the box and took it to her bedroom. It was time for a short nap. Then, it would be time to visit Lightsider.

fe

Tohru looked at the building in front of her. Hikari no Manshon. Yup, that’s it! As she entered the building and climbed the stairs to his floor, she wondered if she looked presentable. She didn’t own many pretty clothes. She had chosen to wear her light blue dress. It clung to her body to the waist, and then it opened and floated, stopping at the knee. To protect herself from the cool morning air, she had put on her denim jacket. She had also taken the opportunity to let her hair flow free, without the red ball she usually used to tie it back.

She reached the third floor and went to Lightsider’s door. To her surprise, the door was not closed, but was ajar. She carefully opened it and peeked inside, but she saw no one. Maybe when he had arrived the previous day, he had been so tired that he forgot to close the door. And it was still barely 8 AM, so maybe he was still asleep. Tohru had only come this early because Lightsider had seemed the kind of person who got up early, and she wanted him to have her cookies at breakfast. She closed the door carefully and wandered through the small flat until she reached his room. Looking in, Tohru stopped dead on her tracks and gasped in surprise. Lightsider was indeed still asleep, and sitting on a chair by his bed was a sleepy woman Tohru instantly recognized as Shadowdancer.

Shadowdancer raised her eyes from Lightsider’s sleeping form and looked at Tohru. “What . . . what are you doing here?” Tohru asked.

“Ohayo gozimasu, Nurse Tohru . . .” Shadowdancer yawned. “What am I doing here? The good doctor passed out in Shinjuku last night and I brought him home. I didn’t think it was a good idea to leave him alone . . .” Another yawn before she continued to talk. “Especially since I had no idea what was wrong with him.” She yawned again and looked to her watch. Eight AM? No wonder she was feeling sleepy, she hadn’t slept all night, watching over Lightsider. And she had to go to work in two hours.

Tohru looked suspiciously at her. “Why would you help him?” She knew Shadowdancer to be a member of the CoM, and as a rule Mihoists didn’t much like fans of Largo.

Shadowdancer shrugged. “You rather I left him on the street to be mugged?”

Tohru shook her head. “No, of course not!”

Shadowdancer yawns again. “So there shouldn’t be any problem. Let’s just say I felt generous . . . .”

Shaking the jealous pang that crossed her heart, she bowed deeply. “Domo arigato gozaimasu for bringing him home, Shadowdancer-san.”

“Iie. I owed him for the trip into the Shadows. I was careless and terrified him there.” Shadowdancer bowed too. “So sorry for capturing you. Duty, you understand.”

Tohru said nothing and looked at Lightsider, a worried expression on her face. “He hasn’t been feeling very well since yesterday.” She said sadly.

Shadowdancer nodded. “I see.” She then noticed the furoshiki-wrapped box in Tohru’s hand. “And you brought him some homemade food for him. How nice of you.”

“Hum . . . I think it is better if I put it in the kitchen.” Tohru said. She really didn’t know how to act around Shadowdancer. The nurse didn’t trust her, but the elfin woman had helped Lightsider.

“Yes, you do that. I’ll call you if he suddenly wakes.” Shadowdancer then looked back again at Lightsider. “Oh, and if you’re hungry, you can eat from the leftovers from the box in the refrigerator.”

“You ordered take-out?” A tiny, well-dissimulated pang of jealousy tainted her voice.

“Yes I did. Just in case he’d wake up and be hungry.”

“I see.” Tohru cast a last glance at Lightsider’s sleeping form and turned around, exiting the room and heading to the kitchen. As she was putting her box on the table she looked at the empty take-out boxes that were on Lightsider’s kitchen table. Shadowdancer must have put the food in the fridge. Curious, she looked at the boxes carefully to see from where she had ordered the food and gasped. On the refined boxes was the insignia of the Jade Chrysanthemum, the finest and more expensive restaurant in all Shinjuku! And the restaurant did not have a take-out service, which meant she must have taken him to eat at the restaurant! That was the kind of place Tohru would never be able to afford.

Tohru sighed, but she quickly became determined.. Maybe she wasn’t able to take him to expensive places, but she was a fine cook herself. And she’d show Lightsider how good of a cook she was. With this resolution set, Tohru left the kitchen.

fe

Lightsider drifted back to consciousness slowly. He could hear voices speaking. He tried to remember who they were, or what was going on, but everything was fuzzy. Lightsider opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was a familiar ceiling. His ceiling. He was home. A dream? He wondered. He looked over, and realized it wasn’t a dream. Shadowdancer was there by his bed.

“Ohayo gozimasu, Lightsider-sensei.” Shadowdancer said.

Lightsider sat up suddenly, upsetting Maki from her sleeping place on his chest. “What? Wh . . . what happened?”

“You passed out suddenly. And I brought you home.” Sleepily, she rubbed at one of her eyes. “I did not think it wise to leave you alone, since I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with -yawn- you...”

As Tohru left the kitchen she heard Lightsider’s voice. He’s awake! She hurried back to his room, but stopped dead in her tracks as she approached the door. Lightsider was indeed awake. And he was talking to Shadowdancer. Without his kawaii-filtering glasses! Jealousy arose again in her heart, but this time stronger. Why . . . why can he look at her without the glasses?

Lightsider looked up. “Tohru? Hey!” he smiled. “It’s a little . . . uh . . . par . . . ty.” Lightsider fell back onto his pillow, unconscious.

Shadowdancer, in the middle of a large yawn, choked. “What in the name of the Kami . . . ?”

“Lightsider!” Tohru rushed to the room. She then looked at Shadowdancer, suspicious again.

“What happened to him?” Shadowdancer asked, surprised. “He just woke up! Why’d he pass out again?”

“Lightsider-san is kawaii-sensitive.” Tohru looked carefully at Shadowdancer, to evaluate her reaction. “He can’t look at any woman who is kawaii at all. Without his glasses, he passes out.”

Shadowdancer blinked three times in utter confusion. “He can’t look at any woman? Without passing out? He never told me that.”

“Hai. So, tell me,” Tohru said, narrowing her eyes a bit. “How could he look at you without the glasses and not pass out?”

Shadowdancer tapped a finger against her lips as she thought. “Maybe it’s because I’m not human,” she said after a while.

“Maybe.” Tohru said. But I’ve seen him treating wounded, non-human fangirls at the hospital, she thought. And not even once did he ever take his glasses off. The one time his glasses accidentally slipped, he passed out.

“I honestly don’t know.” Shadowdancer stared at the doctor with a frown on her face. “I didn’t know about the condition, so I didn’t think it strange that he was looking at me without the glasses. That’s what they’re for? Not because he’s nearsighted?”

“Iie.” Tohru said. “His sight is perfect.”

Shadowdancer picked up the glasses. “You’re right . . . they’re not for correcting vision. They’re magic.” Shadowdancer peered through them. “I don’t see the difference . . . .” she aimed the glasses at Tohru. “They must be attuned to him.” She put the glasses back on the dresser. “Fascinating.”

Tohru studied Shadowdancer, her refined appearance and manners. Everything about her was perfect, like a high princess. It was as if the Kami themselves had sculpted her. Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t needed the glasses to look at Shadowdancer. Maybe he could look freely at perfect beings.

“He’ll be all right though, in a while?” Shadowdancer asked.

Lightsider groaned suddenly, and sat up in bed. He started feeling around for his glasses.

“Oh, he’s waking up again.” Shadowdancer said.

Seeing this, Tohru quickly picked up his glasses and slipped them onto his face.

Lightsider opened his eyes. “Thanks.” he said, blinking a few times. “Uh. Like I said. It’s like a little party.” He smiled. “Must be my birthday!”

Shadowdancer favored him with a raised eyebrow.

Tohru looked at him quizzically. “Are you feeling better, Lightsider?” She asked worriedly.

Shadowdancer looked back and forth at the two of them. “Oh, that was a joke.” She rubbed her eyes. “I must be very sleepy, if I missed that.”

Lightsider smiled at Tohru. “Yeah. I’m fine. I seem to be passing out a lot lately.” He grimaced.

“Sensei.”

Lightsider looked over at Shadow. She indeed seemed very tired.

“I’m sorry, but I need to go,” Shadowdancer said. “I have work in a couple of hours. I need some rest.”

“I’m sorry, Shadow.” Lightsider said. “And thank you.”

Tohru looked suspiciously at the two of them. Why was he calling her just Shadow? Why such familiarity? The jealousy struck her again.

“Ii-desu . . . . As long as you’re all right.” She bent and fished out her shopping bags from under the chair. “Now that someone else is here to watch over you, I won’t feel bad about leaving. The take out is in the fridge . . . .” She walked to the door, and picked up her shoes. “Make sure he eats well, hai, Tohru? That fainting fit might have been starvation or something . . . .” She picked up her jacket and slung it over one shoulder. “Have a nice day . . . .” The little woman bowed and stepped into a shadowed section of wall...and vanished, leaving Tohru and Lightsider alone.

Lightsider and Tohru watched Shadowdancer disappear into the darkness. Lightsider gave a small smile. “That’s hard to get used to.”

“A little,” Tohru said, turning back to the doctor. “How do you feel?”

Lightsider stretched his arms, and then carefully opened and stretched his wings. “Not bad, actually,” he said. He felt a sudden chill, and realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Tohru had realized it too.

Lightsider blushed and drew his wings a little closer to himself. “Uh . . . ,” he muttered. “Sorry about that.” He got up and looked around for a shirt.. “She must have cleaned up my place.” He said, looking under the bed, on his desk and behind his small couch.

Tohru gave a small, hidden grimace. There was that little stab of jealousy again. She crossed over to his dresser and opened one of the drawers. She even folded his clothes.

Lightsider looked at where Tohru was and smacked himself on the head. Heh. Where else would she have put it? He went to the dresser too, and took out a grey t-shirt and a blue pair of sweat pants.

“Um . . . excuse me for a second . . . ,” he said, and took his change of clothes into the small bathroom that opened to the bedroom.

Tohru sat down on the bed, feeling a little tired, a little confused, and not a little foolish. What am I doing here? she asked herself more than once.

Lightsider walked out of the bathroom, running a hand through his light brown hair. “That’s better, eh?” He looked at Tohru, and then looked at the clock. “You’re going to be late to work,” he said.

Tohru gave a small smile and shook her head. “IntelliAyanami gave me the day off,” she said, “so I decided to drop in on you and see what you were doing. I . . . uh . . . ,” the smile faded, and Tohru blushed slightly. “I didn’t know you had company.”

Lightsider smiled too. “It was more of an accident than company,” he explained. “I collided with her when I was walking through Shinjuku. Fresh air, you know? Anyway, she wanted to treat me to dinner to make up for that trip through the Shadows she put me through.” Lightsider shuddered a bit with the memory, tried to shake it off. “I didn’t know she’d be taking me to the most expensive restaurant in town.”

“I saw,” Tohru said softly. “The leftovers are in the ‘fridge.”

Lightsider looked at Tohru. She seemed shy, uncertain. There was definitely something wrong. It happened when he mentioned . . .

Shadowdancer

Centuries among the living hadn’t done anything for Lightsider’s knowledge about women. You’d think I’d know better by now. Lightsider thought ruefully. Still, he didn’t want to just shoo her out. They both had the day off, and it was a wonderful chance to spend some time together. He had an idea.

“Listen,” he said. “How about those flying lessons I promised? We’ll make it a little less stressed this time.” Lightsider laughed a bit, remembering what happened the last time Tohru tried to fly.

Tohru laughed too, the humor of the memory momentarily chasing away the nagging feelings of jealousy. They were trying to escape the CoM, and essentially had jumped out of a high window after Lightsider had revealed to Tohru that she had wings, like his. She had trusted him implicitly as she stepped out into open air . . . .

. . . and had plummeted halfway down the building, screaming and wings flopping uselessly as Lightsider yelled instructions, trying to slow her fall as she struggled to learn how to use the damn things.

She eventually got the hang of it, and, after whacking Lightsider a couple times with her hand, they had set off. Their brief flight together had been incredible, exhilarating . . . Until she had caught them. Tohru’s smile faded a bit.

“C’mon. I’ve got the perfect launch pad, right here.”

fe

Three minutes later, they were on the roof of Lightsider’s apartment building. Lightsider touched Tohru’s shoulder, lightly. She could feel the heat of his hand as he closed his eyes and focused the strange power that he carried.

Who are you, Lightsider? she thought, as she felt the Light coursing through her. She closed her eyes, savoring the warm sensation.

Large, snowy white wings brightened into existence behind Tohru. She stretched them without conscious command, and wrapped them around herself. She giggled from the feeling. So soft, she thought, as she snuggled up to her own wings.

Lightsider chuckled. They did make nice blankets. He turned and looked unblinking into the morning sun, stretching out his wings and feeling the light from the great orb strengthening him, building his reserves that had been so drained by the last few days.

He held his hand out to Tohru. She smiled, and walked up to him. They both looked up, and effortlessly rose into the sky.

Tohru took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, feeling the cool morning wind ruffle through her hair and hearing it play with her feathers. She finally worked up the courage, and let go of Lightsider’s hand.

Tohru laughed again from the absolute feeling of freedom she felt. She gave a little swoop, and then flew a little orbit around the hovering Lightsider. She easily learned the subtle movements of body and wing that gave her control.

The next couple of hours passed quickly. Lightsider showed Tohru the finer points and subtleties of flight. He showed her how to use the wings with a minimum of effort, how to maximize thrust and minimize drag. Her favorite was learning to dive. Her heart beat hard as she climbed to almost two thousand meters.

The blue waters of Tokyo Bay shone in the late morning sun as Tohru aimed for the water and tucked her wings close to her lithe body. She quickly reached terminal velocity, eyes squinted against the lash of the wind. Tohru kept her wings close to her body, keeping on the knife edge of control by the bare movement of individual feathers at her wingtips. Any more movement than that, and she could have her wings torn off, or her back broken.

Tohru shot past Lightsider at over 200 kilometers per hour, in perfect control. Her hair streamed behind her like the tail of a comet. Lightsider held his breath as she plummeted toward the glimmering surface of Tokyo Bay. A thousand meters. Five hundred. Two fifty!

At two hundred meters, Tohru shifted the tip feathers of her wings and arched her back ever so slightly. She leveled out, skimming a bare meter and a half above the waters at a hundred and fifty kilometers and hour. She rolled over and let her wingtips touch the water. The sound of her laughter rose to Lightsider as she climbed into the sky again.

Lightsider watched as she looped and soared. He’d almost forgotten the exhilaration, the sheer joy that he’d felt when first flying. The doctor was discovering he’d almost forgotten a lot of things while wandering alone through the world.

“C’mon, Tohru! Catch me!” Lightsider dove like a missile, and Tohru, laughing like a child, dove after him, quicker than thought.

The two looped and spun across the clear morning sky like two swallows, swirling and dipping with a speed and agility that belied their actual size. She actually caught him once, although whether Lightsider was extremely anxious to get away from the pretty nurse is a matter of debate. She grabbed him around the waist and they tumbled out of the sky, laughing and shrieking and pushing like preschoolers.

They separated, and the chase was on again, except this time with Tohru in the lead. They had climbed into the clouds by now, and they spent time playing hide-and-seek through the cool and damp of them.

Finally, Tohru allowed Lightsider to catch her. He swept up at full speed and drew her into her arms. She luxuriated in the feeling. For a long moment, they were no longer the pretty nurse and the shy doctor, but they were angels in their element, strong and confident. Lightsider and Tohru looked into each other’s eyes, becoming part of each other. They drew closer to each other, and their lips brushed together in their first real kiss.

The moment passed too soon, though, and Lightsider blushed. Tohru turned her head and blushed as well. On an unspoken signal they separated and glided back to Lightsider’s apartment building.